listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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