I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
