so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
