trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
