i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
