YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
