i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
