I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
