I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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