there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
