I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
