my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize