yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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