i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize