Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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