Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
