new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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