I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
