I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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