she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donât have to recycle anymore đđ
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for âteacher / parent conferences.â A couple more âconferencesâ and Iâll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Iâd clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ârang in the New Yearâ with some rando in there last night
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