Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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