Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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