So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
