You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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