I hope mine doesn't look like that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
