So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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