she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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