That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
