im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
