He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
