Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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