do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
