you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
