let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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