We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
