You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I will be naked everywhere
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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