Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
