i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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