She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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