So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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