why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
