but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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