It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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