yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
