Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
