I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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