What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
