Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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