I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize