We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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