Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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