We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
