did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
