We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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