Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
