Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
