We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
