You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
