When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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