yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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