Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
