i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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